Why it hurts

Why Job Rejection Feels So Awful (and What to Do About It)

Have you ever sent your résumé into the world and thought, This is it—this job was made for me, only to hear… crickets? Or worse, you made it through a few rounds of interviews, started imagining yourself in the role, and then got the dreaded “We’ve decided to go in another direction” email?

Ouch.

Job rejection hurts, no matter how accomplished or seasoned you are. It’s personal (or at least it feels that way), it’s frustrating, and it can shake your confidence. But here’s the thing: it’s also incredibly common, and understanding why it feels so bad can actually help you bounce back stronger.

Let’s break it down—with a touch of humor and some good old-fashioned wisdom.

1. You’re Wired to Take It Personally

When someone says “no” to you—especially after you’ve spent time and energy putting your best foot forward—it feels personal. After all, you weren’t selling a widget; you were selling you.

But here’s the truth: rejection isn’t always about you. Companies reject candidates for a million reasons that have nothing to do with your worth, talent, or potential. Maybe they hired internally. Maybe budgets shifted. Maybe the hiring manager got cold feet and decided to stick with what they know.

Old-fashioned wisdom: “Rejection is often about them, not you.” Easier said than felt, I know, but keeping this in mind can soften the blow.

2. It Messes with Your Identity

If you’re a high-profile leader or someone who takes pride in their career (and I know you are), rejection can feel like a blow to your identity. After all, you’ve built a track record of success—so why is this role out of reach?

Here’s the thing: you’re still the same accomplished person, even if this one opportunity didn’t pan out. Your value isn’t tied to any single job. (Repeat that until it sinks in.)

Old-fashioned wisdom: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” You’re not defined by this one opportunity, and plenty of baskets are waiting for someone just like you.

3. You’re Invested, and It’s a Letdown

By the time you hit the interview stage, you’ve invested time, energy, and hope. You’ve imagined yourself in the role, told your family about it, maybe even scoped out the best lunch spots near the office.

Rejection feels like losing something you never really had—but already started to love. It’s a letdown, plain and simple.

Old-fashioned wisdom: “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” Easier said than done, I know, but it’s a reminder to stay grounded while keeping your eyes on the bigger picture.

4. It Highlights the Uncertainty

Let’s face it: job searching is stressful. It’s a mix of hope and vulnerability that can leave you feeling like you’re juggling eggs while walking a tightrope. Rejection just amplifies the uncertainty, making you wonder if you’re doing it all wrong.

Here’s the good news: you’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in strategy or messaging to turn things around.

Old-fashioned wisdom: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” You’ve got this.

What to Do About It

Now that we’ve unpacked why rejection feels so terrible, let’s talk about what you can do to bounce back:

1. Reframe the Experience: Remember, rejection is a redirection. The right role is out there—it’s just a matter of time.
2. Focus on What You Can Control: Your messaging, your outreach strategy, and how you position yourself all play a huge role in landing the right job.
3. Get Support: You don’t have to navigate this alone. Whether it’s fine-tuning your résumé or crafting a stronger interview strategy, a little help can go a long way.

Let’s Talk About Your Next Steps

If rejection has you feeling stuck, let’s change that. I specialize in helping leaders like you navigate the highs and lows of career transitions with strategy, confidence, and maybe even a little humor.

Schedule a call with me, and let’s create a plan that works for you. Because the right opportunity isn’t just out there—it’s waiting for someone exactly like you.

Warm regards,
Barb Goldman
Career Coach & Professional Optimist